My Speech: How Do You Define Success? (includes dramatic pauses for effect)

On Saturday I had the opportunity to be the Keynote Speaker at The Aveda Institute for the Esthiology and Massage graduates. Aside from the paralyzing fear that I would totally blank out or worse, pass out while on stage, I think it went fairly well.

I am writing this blog post to share the gist of my speech, but also to share some really  wonderful and inspiring quotes from industry leaders. Thank you Ido, David, Suzanne, Damone, Rudy, and Faatemah for getting back to me so quickly!

THE GIST:

When Aveda asked me to do this I thought, sure, why not, I’ve done speeches before.In fact, 15 years ago I stood on this same stage to deliver a speech at my Cosmetology graduation. I remember talking about how excited I was for all of us to go out into the world and make things happen. I closed by wishing my classmates a successful career.  And here I am again, except this time I am wishing you, the class of 2013, a lifetime of success.

But what is success?  (dramatic pause)

On paper I’ve had a successful career.I’ve been a hairstylist, makeup artist, salon manager, retail director, educator, business consultant and the last 7 years, a business owner.

But everyone’s definition of success is different- and it should be.
When writing this speech, I asked a few leaders in the industry
what their definition of success is.

Ido Leffler, Co-Founder of Yes To Carrots Organic Skin Care and author of Get There Fast and Do More Good says,

Success = being able to wake up in the morning and realize that your
awesome life is not a dream!

David Wagner, Owner of JUUT Salons and author of Life As a Day maker says,
Life is short and soon to pass, only the things you do with love will last!

Suzanne LeRoux , President of One Love Organics Skin Care says,
Success is living a life that is 100% authentic. When I am true to
myself both personally and in business, I feel content and I feel
successful.

Today I want you to think about your definition of success.
If we had more time I’d have you write it down, but
instead this is your homework.
Go home, write down your definition of success and hold on to it. (dramatic pause) Know that you definition might change over time, and that’s ok.

When I graduated success meant a big title and a big
paycheck. Don’t get me wrong, I still like big paychecks,
but my definition changed over the years.
For me, success is giving yourself the permission to do the things that you’re most passionate about and then encouraging others to do the same.

So how do you get from point A to point B in terms of reaching your
goals and accomplishments?
Hard work, determination, dedication, making connections, and a little luck.

HOMELESS STORY

(I share the story of when I moved out to Los Angeles when I was 21, and couldn’t find an apartment and ending up living out of my car like Jewel the singer, except she had a van.)

That was the most defining moment of my life. It shaped me into the person I am today both personally and professionally. It was then I created another definition of what success is–it’s learning how  to dance in the rain.

I tell my homeless (living out of my car) story to illustrate that we all have our roadblocks and set
backs, but it’s during those times when we grow.
You’ll have moments when things don’t go your way, but I encourage you
to embrace them and see them as opportunities.  In the good moments,
take time to celebrate-both the small and the big wins. Don’t forget to give yourself a pat on the back.
And always, always, be grateful. Be grateful for the gifts you’ve been given. Be grateful
for your clients, and be grateful for all of those who love and support you.

I’d like to share a few more quotes from leaders in the industry,

Damone Roberts, (Los Angeles) Celebrity Eyebrow Artist says,

Success to me is like beauty… It really is in the eye of the beholder. I believe true success is doing something that comes easy to you, and if your really successful, you get paid for it as well.

Rudy Miles, (New York) Celebrity Makeup Artist says,

I once read a quote that said ” Success is defined by what you have to give up to achieve it.” It is important to define success for yourself, with your own definition and definitely on YOUR own terms. If you measure success by any other intangible external standard, it will always be defined by others.

Faatemeh Ampey, (International) Celebrity Hairstylist says,

Success is knowing your purpose in life and being able to manage fear so it does not hinder the process of receiving the joy that the universe has in store for you. Don’t let fear paralyze you let it propel you towards your goals. Don’t be afraid of failure, failure is our teacher. Be bold be fearless but most importantly be you because YOU are success.

I look at your faces and I get really excited and somewhat emotional because I see so much potential in each of you. I see you as people who deserve happiness, fulfillment and success (dramatic pause) however you want to define it. Thank you for letting me come here and be a part of this moment with you.

Congratulations Class of 2013.

Must Reads: “10 Mindful Minutes” by Goldie Hawn

I’ve always loved Goldie Hawn. I remember growing up watching her movies, seeing glimpses of her real personality come through each character. If ever a celebrity that I wanted to emulate, it was Goldie and her effervescent free-spirited nature. It comes as no surprise that once again, I find myself drawn to her, but this time it’s not just her personality and spirit, it’s her quest to help children learn ‘mindfulness’- a proven way to strengthen social and emotional intelligence.

In her book, “10 Mindful Minutes”, Goldie explains the importance of helping our children develop stronger, more functional brains. This isn’t woo woo, patchouli smelling, hippie discourse. This book and her MindUP program (a ‘mindful’ curriculum being used in North American public schools)  is based on science, specifically neuroscience, the study of our nervous system, a.k.a our brain. She has collaborated with experts in disciplines such as Neuroscience, Human Development, Psychology and Education. Having been married to a Neuroscience undergrad/ Doctor of Clinical Psychology and having had brain surgery (to remove a benign tumor), I have a good foundation of how our brain functions. But this book blows my mind! (No pun intended.) Goldie covers how each part of our brain works in an easy to understand and approachable way. But enough about brains, how will this book change your life?

“‘10 Mindful Minutes‘ can change the direction in which society is moving today by strengthening the minds of the next generation. In these pages you find an educational (and entertaining) narrative that provides the scientific groundings as well as the practical strategies for developing your child’s- and your own– mindful awareness. You and your child can learn to live in this new way: being aware in the present moment, letting go of judgements and expectations, and being more fully available to others and yourselves.” – Excerpt from the Foreword, written by Daniel J. Siegel, MD

I bolded and your own, intentionally. We, as parents, also need to practice mindfulness. Studies show that children are only as happy as their parents. In other words, if we’re not happy, our kids won’t be happy. I believe myself to be a happy person, but my struggle is being a ‘present’ person. With a million things on my to do list, I am often scattered and overextended. My child often mirrors my behavior by acting restless, overly emotional, and suffers from separation anxiety (he gets upset when I leave him alone in a room.) Yikes. It takes a lot of my own mind strength to gather my thoughts into one brain command, JULIE, SLOW DOWN, BREATHE, BE PRESENT.

Goldie offers practical strategies on breathing, mindful sensing, optimism, happiness, gratitude, empathy, kindness and living a more mindful life. She also addresses anger, sadness, and fear. Her goal is to help parents and children “find 10 mindful minutes every day to reduce stress, renew your mind for clearer thinking, and create greater focus and connectivity with your children”. My goal is to get you to read the book so we can discuss it (who wants to go out for a glass of wine and talk about the stress hormone cortisol?).

“By sitting and mindfully breathing for 10 minutes a day, in as little as eight weeks you strengthen the part of the prefrontal cortex involved in generating positive feelings and diminish the part that generates negative ones.”

-Richard Davidson, PhD

Available at Barnes and Noble and Amazon.com

Photos courtesy of Berry.com and Barnes and Noble.com

Finance: The App That Will Keep You (Somewhat) Sane

I used to be so organized when it came to paying my bills. I had a physical filing cabinet that I would religiously file each bill after I paid for it. That was 5 years ago. Now my bills are scattered about my house, in my car, and in my purse. I’d be out at a restaurant, digging for lipgloss in my purse, and pull out my electricity bill. Apparently that’s not classy. Maybe it’s because I am now a mother and business owner, or maybe it’s because I became overwhelmed with life, that I needed to find a better way to keep track of it all.

Introducing Manilla, a fiance app that keep you (somewhat) sane.

“The idea behind Manilla is to empower you to stay on top of your bills and consolidate your financial accounts under one password. There are automatic reminders to ensure that you don’t forget to pay bills and the app offers an organized digital filing cabinet of bills, statements, notices, and offers. That means you can forget about keeping paper copies for your records and just access them via the app whenever you need them. It also handles reward programs and loyalty cards, on top of your standard bank accounts and credit cards.

It’s completely free and the streamlined interface makes it very easy to use. Manilla is effectively a calendar of your bills, so you can always see what’s due to come out of your account and when. It’s also completely secure, as verified by various agencies including VeriSign and McAfee.”

-Manilla website

Photo courtesy of Manilla.com